On Rejection, Disappointment, And Living Courageously
I fearfully opened the email.
It read:
"Honey Daniel, I regret to inform you that we're not interested in your manuscript. Best of luck finding a suitable publisher."
I'd been rejected. Again.
I sighed. This feeling was becoming much too familiar.
At least this publisher bothered to have a minute to write me a reply, I thought. Better than the dozens of other publishers who hadn't even shown me that courtesy.
I had already submitted my manuscript to so many publishers and agents that I'd lost count.
I was on the brink of giving up. A wannabe author can but have so much rejection, correct?
My great idea that nobody liked
Months earlier, I'd developed the concept for the book. Its title would be The Happy Educatee: five Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success.
I had it all planned out.
Not your typical self-assist or how-to book, The Happy Student wouldn't just hype readers upward or make them feel a temporary surge of motivation.
Instead, it would empower them to find enduring success and fulfillment. It wouldn't merely exist an inspirational volume; it would equip readers with precious life skills.
The Happy Educatee would exist based on my personal experiences.
xvi years of being a straight-A only mostly unhappy student, xvi years of abiding questioning what the purpose of didactics is, 16 years of wisdom and insight… all compiled into an easy-to-read transmission of life.
A book written by a student, for students.
"Happy and successful"—that would exist the book'southward catchphrase.
Doesn't this all audio fantastic? Information technology did to me, at least.
The Happy Student would impact readers around the world. Information technology would exist on all the bestseller lists.
Students and parents would flock to bookstores to go their re-create. It would be the start of a global "happy" revolution.
And with the royalty payments I would receive, I'd be prepare for life.
Or so I imagined.
Dealing with discouragement and disappointment
But I couldn't fifty-fifty get a single agent or publisher to take a 2nd await at—much less like or dear—my manuscript.
A far weep from being an international bestseller!
It wasn't just the rejections from publishers and agents that left me feeling discouraged.
Some of my friends' remarks were discouraging as well:
- "Come up on, Daniel. Who gets a book published when they're xx-something years old?"
- "Maybe y'all should wait until you lot have more credibility earlier you approach publishers and agents."
- "You know, people who write books on education commonly take a PhD in psychology or education."
I don't blame my friends.
They weren't trying to exist negative or nasty. They were just existence realistic.
Discouraging friends. Discouraging publishers. Discouraging agents.
I had no idea that trying to become a book published would make me experience so hopeless!
How to write a (moderately) successful book
Fast forward i and a half years.
The Happy Student has sold thousands of copies, and it comes in both an International and Asian edition.
I'd call it a moderate success.
Information technology's not quite—and has never been—a top-ranked Amazon book. Neither can I choose to retire now and just live off my royalty payments.
So some of the dreams I mentioned before have come truthful, but not all of them.
I've learned not to find satisfaction in my condition every bit a "published author."
Instead, my greatest reward comes every time readers tell me that The Happy Student has inspired and empowered them to pursue excellence, that information technology has changed their outlook on life in some way.
That'due south what makes it all worth it.
Today, when people say things to me like "What an accomplishment that you lot're already a published writer!" or "You're an impressive immature human," I shrug off the comments.
My long list of fears
To me, I'g just a normal guy who had a normal dream. A normal dream that made me agape.
Afraid of rejection. Afraid of what others would think of me. Agape of disappointing myself. Agape of failure.
Through the book-writing experience, I've learned that there's no such thing as being fearless. Everyone has fears. I, for i, take enough of them.
I'll confess that information technology even took me a while to get over the fear of writing this post.
As someone who aspires to ever exist tough, strong and steadfast, it's not natural for me to put myself out there through my writing.
The thought of allowing myself to exist vulnerable… it makes me uncomfortable. Terrified, fifty-fifty.
So I'chiliad writing this post in the promise that it will encourage you to do what you already know yous ought to.
If that's y'all, y'all know who you are.
I hope this post is that push button y'all need to accept on that project, first that business, nurture that relationship, or have that chat.
Later all, courage isn't the absenteeism of fear; it's the willingness to confront fright.
And the only way you'll be willing to face your fears is to go beyond yourself, to see that acquisition your fears is actually about benefiting others.
Sure, facing your fears will benefit y'all by making you lot a bigger person, but your example will also give someone else the courage to face their fears.
Living without regret
Going back to my publishing story, I somewhen got in touch with an agent who was interested in my book projection, only not interested plenty to take me on lath as her client.
Merely she generously continued me with David Hancock, CEO of Morgan James Publishing, the firm that eventually published The Happy Student.
The remainder is history.
Would I have regretted it if I'd put in all that try to try and get the book published, simply no publisher ever accepted the manuscript?
If you'd asked me that question before I embarked on the project, I would've said "aye."
Ask me at present, and I'll reply, "Not at all."
This alter in perspective happened considering I realize information technology's far more probable that you'll regret the things yous don't try at all, rather than the things you lot try and fail at.
How to live courageously
The courage to endeavour and fail—that'south something that needs to be cultivated. You don't wake up one day and suddenly find that y'all've had a big bravery boost.
The easiest way to build courage is to continually become beyond yourself.
Stop request "What's in it for me?", and start asking "How will this add value to someone else?"
Stop request "What will people remember of me if I fail?". Stop caring what people call back and offset asking "How many lives will I fail to make a difference to if I don't at least endeavour?"
Courage isn't about focusing on yourself and your fears and your challenges.
It'southward about focusing on others.
No thing what your dream is, I'm sure it volition have backbone for you to realize it.
Think almost others, and I know you'll find all the backbone you'll need.
Then accept the next step. The world is counting on y'all. 🙂
Source: https://www.daniel-wong.com/2013/01/27/on-rejection-disappointment-and-living-courageously/
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